Two Sunday Services for You this week. Would love to see you and your family …
stop being weird
let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
philippians 2.4
love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
romans 12.10
obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.
hebrews 13.17
our culture is wacky about authority + power + submission, but maybe it doesn’t have to be that way?
my friend Kim is a generation older than me. she leads worship at our church and we are dear friends. she has gifts + experiences i don’t have, so i feel honored that we are walking this lap of the journey together. and she knows it. her gifts + faith are part of the church we are building together. but i have some positional authority by the nature of being the preacher, so there this a bit of a power dynamic i suppose you could say.
a couple sundays ago she wanted to do something a little risky during the church service (this story would be a little clearer if i told you what she did, but it might embarrass someone her + i both love) … it was a spur of the moment thing. all of a sudden, she was mouthing something to me while she was leading from stage. i walked up and she whispered a request in my ear.
she looked at me and asked for permission
i said, ‘go for it.’
she called me that night and asked if i felt ok about what happened
i said something like, ‘i feel honored that you ask, but honestly if you felt led to do it, i’m thrilled you felt confident to go for it.’
i try to defer and listen to her. she follows up and checks in with me. we both prefer and honor each other. and trust is built. and good things happen. and we never had to spend days dissecting the patriarchy or authority protocol. i am the pastor of the church, so naturally i have a fair amount of power. yet, she has lots of experience and only a fool wouldn’t want to listen to her.
in the conversation about authority + submission, so often the focus is on abstract situations or relationships. in truth, when people care about each other + listen to each other + trying to honor the wisdom + gifts of each other, things tend to be relatively smooth. i probably wouldn’t have done the thing kim did in that moment, but her deciding was more important to me than getting my way.
perhaps if we focus less on systematic ideas and more on practical applications things we will be less angry. i mean, try really hard to honor the couple authorities in your life by being easy to lead. try really hard to honor those under you by trusting + listening to them. i wonder if that might make the power-filled relationships in your life stronger?
This week the windows were open so the breeze could flow through our house and I was struck by my neighbor’s lilac bush that is just about to bloom The sweet smell has rushed into our bedroom many time and drawn my senses over and over again.
It got me thinking of 2 Corinthians 2:15-16, which says, “For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?”
I am preaching to myself as I write because I find it extremely convicting that an aroma is something you leave whether you know it or not. And most certainly as Paul states at the end of the passage, ‘who is sufficient for these things?’ It leads me to believe that the man that God put in place to lead the church expressed difficulty at just the thought of this.
When I was in high school I worked as a shampoo girl at a salon. I was pretty naive but had recently been saved and was trying to live a life that represented Christ. Sometimes I would walk into the backroom and they would all stop talking because they would say they didn’t want to ruin my ‘virgin ears.’ I remember being slightly offended by this because in some ways I didn’t want to be the outcast in the group. But I couldn’t help but stand out because of the choices and statements my life made. Now looking back I realize that no matter how ‘nice’ I was, they sensed the aroma of Christ and that felt uncomfortable to them. Maybe you had a similar experience as a new christian as well and found it as did I extremely formative. The biggest challenge is to be a continual fragrance that doesn’t fade or change.
Have you ever known someone who wears a certain cologne or perfume and if you hug them you smell like them for the rest of the day? Or have you been in a room with a lot of jr. high boys that have body odor and don’t even realize it? The contrast is mind blowing because they are both strong to your senses but you will always be drawn to the attractive smell rather than the rank one.
Whether it’s at work or home or in your relationships, what aroma are you leaving? And is it consistent or a completely different fragrance from work to home? We don’t have the ability to change hearts; only God can do that. But we do have the ability to leave an aroma in the places God allows us. The truth is that we aren’t sufficient for these things; you will fail and you will say or do something that does the exact opposite of what you hoped. But, leave that outlier to the side and look at the opportunity to be the aroma of Christ right where he has placed you. I am confident it will grow and challenge you and I both!
Cup of Leadership
influence is everything. and it has almost nothing to do with position. who calls for your opinion, who comes to your office to try and get things done, who wants your buy-in for a new initiative, this is the currency to be trying to build. you can influence anyone who wants your opinion. so often younger leaders tend to focus on positional authority. ‘when i’m the boss’ or ‘how do i climb the ladder’ or ‘that isn’t in my scope of responsibilities.’
this tends to create space for excuses or lack of action. if i aim to build position, those above me will be threatened and it’s a 0 sum game. if i aim to build influence, i have endless opportunities and everyone i interact with experiences me as an asset.
Saturday Morning Book Review
The God Who Plays: A Playful Approach to Life + Spirituality - by Brian Edgar
The author uses the word ‘play’ to describe a mindset shift needed in many modern Christians. The Protestant work-ethic and stern Victorian mentality in many of our backgrounds has made fun immoral. A stern duty-based view of the world is common in many Christians + churches and it limits our ability to live + understand the kingdom right now.
This book will really challenge you. The author rigorously argues for a different way of looking at faith + living than you may have experienced before + i think you will find it stretching. Highly recommend.
Things to Click On
classic example of how our solutions often make the problem worse … ‘Because trigger warnings involve assumptions about emotional reactions, particularly with respect to P.T.S.D., psychology researchers have begun to study whether trigger warnings are in fact beneficial. The results of around a dozen psychological studies, published between 2018 and 2021, are remarkably consistent, and they differ from conventional wisdom: they find that trigger warnings do not seem to lessen negative reactions to disturbing material in students, trauma survivors, or those diagnosed with P.T.S.D.’ — via the New Yorker.
we do such weird things to try and climb the (mostly) imaginary ladders of importance…
have a great weekend…
luke+kristen